Yes Ma’am. Yes Spirit—a journal entry after breathwork
by Marielle Abell
“Breathwork….a portal to transpersonal experience. So much energy and spirit going through this hollow bone, this now-human body. An ancient woman’s face appeared, round and brown, with wrinkles and ancient eyes that bored into me—through me. She is the face of all women across time and continents, simply there to acknowledge the wonder, love, and pain of growing and birthing another human being, tending the sick and the dying. The ferocity of her love and presence was stunning and resonant to my core.
I saw women working together—pounding cassava, weaving baskets, being midwives, gathering berries, changing diapers. The daily mundane kindness and labor that keep the world going round. Rage and roars emerged as I became a mama bear seeing her cub caught in a trap. Letting that rage out in the loudest and longest yells ever to come from this body was liberating beyond explanation. Women and mothers from the past who were not able to vocalize rage in their time seemed to borrow my lungs and vocal chords.
Welcome. Thank you.
The music shifted to something very orchestral and dramatic. Over the top! When will it end? I became a fungal spore, waiting patiently underground (under my sheet). The music was clearly the Anthropocene, playing on and on, musically demonstrating how overly dramatic and self-absorbed humans can be. Be patient, little spore. Your time will come. Humans will not last forever.
Welcome. Thank you.
Waves of grief. Take as much time as it takes. Feeling sorrow for the birds that don’t complete their migration. For the baby that never made it out of the womb. For the mama who grieves this loss. Sorrow for the poems that go unwritten and the songs unsung because we humans have this notion that we are not good enough.
Sigh. Tears.
Finally, I am a bat, hanging upside down, watching it all as I sway. Witnessing the complicated humanity. As I drift back into consensus reality, a message comes clearly through: ‘Don’t think for a minute, little missy, that this is all about YOU.’
Yes, Ma’am. Yes, Spirit.
Welcome. Thank you.”
